I have been back from traveling for about 6 months and it has been a year since I set off for Bali, then Byron and then Mysore. If you followed this blog while I was in Asia, you have realized that I stopped posting other than a very occasional experiment in using all of the new widgets and doo-dads out there.
So, what’s up? Why stop blogging? Partly there was nothing to say. Partly I have been struggling staying focused on my own path, burning through my own samskaras and trying to live closer to the truth. In Asia unencumbered by all of the expectations that surrounded me whether created by the media or my family and friends, it was so much easier to be focused. Worries about career and companionship all receded into the background. Everyone for the most part was in Mysore to get away from the expectations and desires that surrounded them in the “real world” and to focus on generating a little heat to burn away that crusty hull that desire creates around us. My hull has proven to be particularly think. So I got back to SF and quickly fell into some of my worst patterns, tried to put them aside and then fell back again. Progress is made, but slowly.
You know no one wants to be to overt about struggle. It isn’t very heroic. Doesn’t everyone want to be the romantic hero? Certainly I do. So, my reaction has been to simply shut down, struggle silently. There is nothing dramatic going on, just working on shutting down past patterns.
I tried to keep a blog going by moving my comments on some media topics to a separate blog, but it felt dishonest. The blogs I have grown to respect integrate the important aspects of their life – family, work, love, yoga – all into a single space. Integration, that’s the goal. It’s like we operate all of these separate lives from a distance and yoga is a process for trying to integrate them into at more consistent whole. So , I moved the couple of posts from the “career” blog back to Exchanging Hats and closed the other one out. You now have a clue to some of what Elizabeth B was talking about in the poem. We are all constantly exchanging hats to fit the expectations of those around us. God forbid that we are the Unfunny Uncle. But, I guess if that is the truth, then wear the hat high and wide — be as unfunny as you can.
You will see me more frequently on the things that are important to me and how I am going at unifying my haberdashery. It may seem a little disjointed going forward, it may seem at little less than romantic but it will be my best attempt at being true.
More to come.